Giant swing camp.

Achievement Objectives:

Purposes and audiences

• Show a developing understanding of how to shape texts for different purposes and audiences.
• INDICATORS:
• –  constructs texts that show a growing awareness of purpose and audience through careful choice of content, language, and text form;
• –  conveys and sustains personal voice where appropriate.

Ideas

Select, form, and communicate ideas on a range of topics.

INDICATORS:

• –  forms and expresses ideas and information with increased clarity, drawing on a range of sources;
• –  adds or changes details and comments to support ideas, showing some selectivity in the process;
• –  ideas suggest awareness of a range of dimensions or viewpoints.

Language features

Use language features appropriately, showing a developing understanding of their effects.

• INDICATORS:
•     –  uses oral, written, and visual language features to create meaning and effect and engage interest;
• –  uses a range of vocabulary to communicate meaning;
• –  demonstrates good understanding of all basic spelling patterns and sounds in written English;
• –  uses an increasing range of strategies to self-monitor and self-correct spelling;
• –  writes legibly, fluently, and with ease when creating texts;
• –  uses a range of text conventions, including most grammatical conventions, appropriately and with increasing accuracy.

Structure

• Show a developing understanding of text structures.
• INDICATORS:
• –  understands that the order and organisation of words, sentences, paragraphs, and images contribute to and affect text meaning;
• –  identifies a range of text forms and recognises some of their characteristics and conventions.
•    
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Motivation:

• Write a description about one event/experience from camp.

Key outcomes:

• To hook the reader in with an interesting beginning
• A variety of sentence starters
• A variety of sentence lengths - simple/compound/complex
• Edit and rework
• Effective peer checking and feedback

My draft and editing:

Published writing:

I was trembling in my little harness with my legs and my arms are shaking in fear I couldn't get out of this one.


This magnificent thing is the coolest thing ive ever seen but one of the scariest things ive ever seen and one of the things in my life I have never wanted to do and I like to do a lot of stuff but this was not one of them.


this giant machine was 17.5 meters in the air and you hada3second free fall down to the ground.

You were going to die.

I stood there like a statue as Wyatt put the harness around me I was so frightend.

I was as scared as a puppy leaving its mother to the first time.

I never wanted to do this I was so scared.

In the end I finally did it and I was proud of myself when I got off and have ago.

then I went back and had a go.

then I went back to my bunk and relaxed.

My reflection and next step:

I would like to have more sentence starters to make my story more intresting.